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When Small Changes create Big Changes

We are full of them, whether we realise it or not.  We say we have them, but more often than not they have us.  What is this thing I’m describing? 

They’re our Habits, and they drive our lives to the Nth degree, sometimes brilliantly, but many times not so and root us in a quagmire that can rule us moment by moment.  They are our regular tendencies and practices.  They are often unconscious and automatic. Although they can be impacted and influenced by Motivation (made up of Intention and Motion meaning to take action), they are more likely to drive Behaviour and Change than do Motivation by itself.

Habits are amazing when we are excited about learning something new and wonderful. They can enable us to cope with huge amounts of information, choices, decisions, goals and emotions.  Many of these habits are unconscious, directing behaviour like a conductor does an orchestra, but we are often unaware of this.  While good habits make it easier to achieve desired results without sapping our energy, undesirable habits make it difficult to achieve our wants, hopes and desires and will drain our inner resources.

Most of us do not worry too much about our habits unless and until they begin to create havoc and unhappiness in our lives.  At the start of a new year, you will hear words like “goals”, “motivation”, “resolutions” being spoken about like its going out of fashion.  It is a rare thing to hear others giving a platform to the idea of “Habits” and the role they play in keeping us stuck.  Yet again.  The emphasis is regularly placed on “willingness”,“motivation” and “resolutions”. 

It appears to be a little-known thing that “Willingness” and “Motivation” are states of mind which can embed a habit or not.  The fact that they are used to underpin a habit, means that the habit came first!  Indeed, Habits are known to change the structure of the brain and thereafter impact Behaviour. 

Willingness and Motivation alone are not known to impact brain structure, but Habits do. 

Repeated habits work like this; simply put, repeated actions cause your neurons to fire again and again, forming a stronger and strong neuronal circuit. Heard the term “Neurons that fire together, wire together”?   This comes from an evidence based theory called Hebbian theory, which showed that repeated actions created stronger neuron circuits, allowing us to do things on autopilot.

Now autopilot can be good, but only if these habits are not undesired ones.  The more a habit is performed, the stronger the neuronal circuits become.  Autopilot speeds up the transmission of signals, in effect making it easier and quicker for the habit to occur next time.  So, if you’re looking to embed new behaviours and release old ones, small changes in your Habits are a good place to start making changes so you experience the big changes you seek.

 

Want to learn more about how we can start making small changes to your habits? Book a free consultation call!

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A Magnet Called You: Understanding Abundance

You are a magnet, whether you choose that word or not, you are attracting or repelling certain things in your life.

The laws by which you choose to live your life is what makes you a human magnet; a person with a certain vibe!  Did you know that the word “vibe” is derived from the word “Vibration”. A magnet has a vibration, which attracts certain things to itself.

What you say Yes or No to determines what vibe you have, and what vibe you have determines the laws by which you choose to live your life.  The quality of your relationships, finances, creative expression, physical well-being and your state of mind are all impacted by your personal laws.

How do you hold conversations? Are they honest, genuine, guarded, open, loving, affirmative, uplifting, gossipy, complaining and erratic?  We all have the capacity to have conversations that hold any of those qualities, but which ones do YOU choose?  You see, whatever qualities .you live by, will attract your relationship group (that includes friends, lovers, acquaintances, colleagues).  It creates your “vibe”.  That is why some people will gravitate towards you and some people will keep you at bay.  So what qualities are you living by?

What personal laws are you applying which may hinder or accelerate your evolution?

 

Here is a mini Inquiry practice on Poverty Mentality:

I feel about money this way:

Stingy, Greedy, Hoarder (be honest and mark yourself out of ten with 10 being True and 1  being the false -the  furthest away from this).

Invest, Accumulate, Circulate((be honest and mark yourself out of ten with 10 being True and 1  being the false -the  furthest away from this).

 

Sometimes this practice may bring about a visceral reaction around money and affluence.  If you are honest with yourself may give you an indication of how you are presenting yourself to the world when it comes to money. 

Are you the magnet whose personal laws accelerate or hinder your evolvement?

Which laws are holding you hostage?

Ready to release your poverty consciousness? Contact me to find out more. 

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Sense and Senses

Sometimes we struggle to believe something unless we have proof of it through our five senses.   At one time in human evolution, the question was asked “are there forms of life that are smaller than the eye can see?” It did not make sense to us unless we could prove it through our five (limited) senses. So from that place the answer to that question was “No”.  There is always one who thinks out of the box and generally considered a troublemaker, so he/she did not accept the “No”, and a microscope was invented.

Another question followed, “are there things which exist that are smaller than can be seen through a microscope?”  Again the answer was “No”, but the persistent among us discovered the idea of atomic and subatomic phenomena.

What is clear from all of this is the idea that as tools were developed to disprove long held hypotheses, that which was once considered non-existent became existent; the main proviso required was an expansion of consciousness.  Suddenly we had some-thing come out of no-thing.

Could it be that lot of things we believe are not real are just in an invisible realm waiting to be discovered?.  History appears to tell a story of a willingness to rise above what our five senses are able to deliver.

If we are to view the willingness to step outside of this paradigm as requiring an expansion of consciousness, then it makes sense to treat our five senses cautiously?

We are more than what makes sense through the senses we are used to! Makes sense?

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Courage – An Embodiment Practice

Today I choose to be vulnerable. I am open to experiencing my vulnerability for I know it is the first step in practicing Courage.  I don’t need to go anywhere or do anything.  I give myself permission to feel deeply all the things I care about and commit to act upon them so I may have a life well lived.  I know that to live a life well lived requires me to access my vulnerability and in doing so I choose to be courageous.  As a Warrior on this journey called life, I know that there can be no courage without vulnerability.  So today I choose to be Courageous; with my beloved, with my future and with all manner of unknowns that draw me to new frontiers.  I am willing to break the dead shell of yesterdays, to risk even when I am terrified.  No risk No Courage. So, I risk – for the deep privilege of being and feeling fully alive.  I am willing to be courageous as I lose myself to find myself.  I choose to love myself by being courageous.

 

And so it is.  Amen!

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Fear and Courage

The Willingness to live our desires takes courage. 

From early childhood we are exposed to other people’s ideas of who we ought to be and how.  It is usually backed up by television programmes, school and friendships as early as playground playmates.  As a child our identities are primarily shaped by parents who perceive us in certain ways and treat us accordingly.  We may also be objects of their unmet or hidden ambitions.  We are read books with certain heroes or heroines.  The influencing, shaping and sculpting has begun.  We are inculcated into family patterns where we are reminded through old photographs, stories of what those before us did or did not do.  Psychologists tell us that by the time a child is 7 years old, their personality is formed.  He/she is now just a littler version of who he/she is going to be.  But is this mould really set like they say?  Is that it?

Are we our family?  Are we the result of relationships and friendships we have been exposed to and cultivated?  Are we our university alumni?  Who does the choosing?  The YOU that you have chosen or the You that has been shaped and moulded?  What if the life you have been influenced, shaped and moulded to follow is not the life you would have chosen for yourself?   What do you do?  What would happen if you leave the life you have built, the life you have unconsciously chosen and step forward to claim the life for which you have longed?

Often, we have inherited someone else’s view of who we are or should be.  I have watched this play out time and again in a number of families or friends as they describe their families. 

It takes real courage to stare into the deepest parts of yourself.  Are you willing to see what is TRUE, REAL and ETERNAL about you?  What do the deepest parts of yourself really long for?   You see, the part of you that is shaped, moulded and sculpted is your personality.  Your personality is not all of who you are.  The part of you who questions your choices, who longs to live a life of your deepest desires, who observes you in unexpected moments, that is the eternal part of you.  Some call it the Soul.  Are you willing to risk knowing who you really are?  Who you’ve always been?  Could you live with the consequences of knowing?  You see, all of our deepest desires are our Soul’s way of calling us back to simply being all of who we really are.

Each time I have allowed myself to “go there” I won’t lie and say it is easy.  In fact “fear” visits.  It feels quite palpable.  She sits in the corner wringing her hands as if to say “let see what you got!” My mind registers multiple “what ifs”.  I do not pretend to be unafraid.  I know that when fear visits, the idea is to have me not choose, to keep me stymied, catatonic so I remain the same.  But I would rather know myself and live with the consequences of these choices than to live a life making choices which have probably never been mine to make.

Sometimes I have made choices which have deviated from the status quo, from what others expected of me.  Whilst those watching have smiled seemingly supportive, I have sensed a lack of support, even anger.  I have, in the past, turned down work of a particular nature because it was inconsistent with who I thought I was and the overwhelming attitude from some have been “how dare you”.  I have sensed and learned that making choices in alignment with who I think I am, can disrupt others’ perception of who they think they are.  The negative energy emanating from those who disapprove for whatever reason makes me wonder whether I am holding up a mirror in which they can see themselves.

In any case isn’t that what we are for each other?  Mirrors! Should we be clinging to our so called powerlessness or unwillingness to change like a comfort blanket?  Is that supposed to let us off the hook of taking responsibility for our own lives? I suspect that those who choose to challenge inherited perceptions by opting for a different response to life, threaten the others carefully cultivated self-deception.

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An Invitation – from the Heart of an Integral Development Coach

 

The work that I do is simply “Heart” work. 

I hold others with and from the Emotional centre of my being.  Feeling another (without touching), holding another (energetically), touching another (vibrationally).  That is what I do.  

I am a midwife to holding the ache, the sorrow, the joy, the courage, the peace.  When a beloved (You) sits before me with “their story”, this opens a gateway into the interior landscape of both teller and listener.  An unfolding begins to occur in the telling of the story and the conscious contemplation of both beloved and midwife. 

My presence holds a warning and a promise in the same energetic space; the consequences of moments of deep intimacy with yourself, with another and with the world.  I hold the space for you to be present with your joy and sorrow, with longing and desire, as layer upon layer of yourself, myself and the world is revealed. 

Neither of us can know in advance, what this revelation will look like or what action it will inspire or compel us to take.  Personally, I have circled moments of anticipated intimacy with my own desires, catch the scent of portended change in the air and promptly shut down my emotions for fear of what it would call upon me to do in and with my life.  Having based parts of my life on truths that no longer exist, the changes that deep intimacy with real Truth evoked looked very dangerous.  It is terrifying to watch one’s life structures crumble and fall.  It forced me to ask, “Who am I now without these stories”?  

You cannot tell in advance which aspects of your carefully constructed sense of self, if any, will survive when you begin a coaching journey.  However well-intentioned or unconscious, if you have lived your life from a place of being asleep to yourself, the idea of giving birth to a new self is a total knee trembler. 

The beauty of doing this work is the recognition at some point, that there are things that Life wanted me to know, and since I have experience of it, I can therefore re-gift it to another by way of my heart when they sit before me. 

As a midwife, I have often touched my own sorrow as well as my joy.  I cannot promise that the journey to birthing your ‘Self’ will be easy.  Opening yourself to living intimately with the world is not a selective process where you are in control of every experience.  And so it is, that as “You,” sit before me, I know that you have taken the first step towards revealing the next layer of your life.  I know that you are seeking this thing that is calling your name; there is a hunger present.  When I am able to help you to acknowledge this hunger within yourself, once you are even able to taste the possibility of touching the meaning enfolded in your life, you can never be content with just going through the motions.  Learning cannot be undone.  It is at this point that transformation begins.

Those of us who do this work, can sense, see and feel the courage of another human heart.  It is from this place of Heart that I hold what matters for the journey; again and again, even when doing so may seem to the human mind, unbearable or simply impossible.  All of us, are here to give birth to a deeper intimacy with our lives and our world and with Heart we open gateways for others to do the same.

 

 

 

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A Practice of Gratitude – For Any Time of Day

In the quietude of this moment, I claim for and about myself gratitude, simple and humble gratitude for the countless blessings in my life; those of which I am aware and those of which I am not.

The unfolding wonder of life shows up in every aspect of my life.  Even now, I am so grateful for this body temple that flows with vibrant health, vitality and wholeness.  I am so utterly grateful that through this body, I get to feel love, sense hurt, appreciate gut intuition.  Oh my goodness, how wonderful I am made.  

Harmonious energy flows through every organ, muscle and fiber of my being.  Every vital organ knows exactly what to do and does so with mind blowing precision.  Every neuron fires at the right time and I am overflowing with health and gratitude.

I’m grateful for the beauty that surrounds me.  To every individual in my life, I say thank you for loving me, for sharing yourself with me, for inspiring me and for uplifting me on days when I could not see my own inner beauty. All manner of good is flowing through me and all around me. 

My mental body is clean, my emotional body is pristine, my financial affairs are abundant and in order.  I  am flooded with gratitude, knowing that all is well in my world.

I sit in peace and surrounded by blessings. All is well.

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A Practice for Wishing Others Well

From the womb of my heart, I send a blessing to all beings on the planet, to all creatures and elements of nature.

From North to South, from East to West, may all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.  May all know Joy and Peace, the peace that passes all understanding.  May all beings rise, flourish and know safety and security in their environments.  May they have clean pure water to drink and a plentiful supply of food.  May they know love.

I know that their safety, their health and Mine are inextricably linked because we come from the same Source.  I therefore give thanks in advance for the many blessings that shall occur upon their lives, simply because where others suffer in the world, my world is also affected.  I know that there cannot be peace Here and not There.  We live in one world.  

Just as I desire peace, compassion, understanding, forgiveness and joy, so do all beings everywhere.  I therefore speak out loud the Word for the benefit of the lives of all beings.  

May all of our highest potentials be realised in this lifetime and may we all live in Harmony with Life.

And so be it.

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A Practice for Beginning

As I go within, I sit with full intention to clear away the crass, the irrelevant and the complicated which has been a barrier to my Freedom.  I know that within this temple there is everything I need to take the first step in any endeavour and to relinquish all fear, procrastination and what-if-ness.

I open my heart and mind to finding the beauty, joy and perfect knowing in just Beginning.  There is no-thing to fear here.  There is only joy in beauty and beauty in joy and perfect knowing in all of it. I affirm my commitment to Beginning.

And so, I take the first step, I am not ashamed that it is a baby step.  All I know is that it is a step and it counts as me taking action in reclaiming my divine freedom and ultimate happiness. 

I relinquish the parts of me that have relied on the opinions of others, societal trends and an addiction to drama.  These parts of me have been gainfully employed for years and I am happy to say now that “they are now out of a job”!

I am no longer afraid to let go, since these redundant parts of me have nothing new to offer.  I now step into all manner of Actuality, Possibility and Potential.  Doors now open where once there were only walls.  I declare that I have now begun a new chapter of my life, turned a new page and new pathways emerge even as I speak.

I give thanks knowing that I have done the right thing and all is well.

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An Affirmation practice to start your day

Breathe in deeply, breathe out slowly. Relax your shoulders and your jaw. Find stillness before you read the affirmation practice below out loud.

As my day starts, I turn within to give thanks for the joy of simply being alive.

Thank you Life that I wake to see yet another day.  Today I continue my journey to be my greatest yet to be. I know all of that is available to me because every day is a tremendous blessing that is to be used for my good and the good of the world.

So here I am.  Use me.  Use me as your instrument, so I may know the joy of being chosen and used by you.  I now  make myself available to experience everything that is available in Life; the good, the bad, the indifferent.  For I also know there are lessons abundant in every aspect of Life and I open my heart to learn, to feel, to act from a place of knowing with all of my lessons learned.

I feel Life so strongly seeking to express through me, as me and all around me, so into this zone I enter knowing that Life seeks to know itself as me today and everyday.  There is a quickening happening within me from my head to my toes.

I now affirm that heaven is right where I am, all manner of good is already mine.  I open my mind and eyes to see what is in store for me and I call it forth knowing that it is good and very good.

With ultimate gratitude and appreciation, I simply let it be.

Thank you!

 

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