You love your sibling.  You want to be like her because she has everything you hoped your life would have but doesn’t.   She is happily married with four children, has a beautiful home with a white picket fence; the lot.  She is outgoing, gregarious and fun.  Your diary is full of making yourself available to your sibling.  She is able to live life fully because you make it so. You also resent the hell out of the situation.

Time to be yourself.  When you say that something has to change, you must know that it will have to begin with you.  Free will is the source from which your life stems.  What conversations are you having in order to bring about your life? Every ‘yes’ and every ‘no’ is a full sentence. It can either open a door or close it; it can create possibilities for conversations or limit them.  Siblings can add to or take away from your life, but only if you let them.  Resentment has its uses, but they are limited.  It informs us that where we are is possibly not where we want to be. 

“Yes”.  How many times have you said that word and not meant it?  How many times has it diminished your life, whilst you watched another’s circumstances flourish; because you said it!

“No”.  So many of us are afraid to say it!  So worried we won’t be liked after saying it.  But you know, the word can be a blessing onto our lives.  It is transparent in its intention.  How many times have we heard someone say “which part of “n” and “o” don’t you understand!  This full sentence of “No”, has the power to define, clarify, confirm and transform.  I’m not talking negotiable No’s here!

Maybe the next time you find yourself feeling resentful/living someone else’s life/wanting someone else’s life, try examining your ‘no’s’ and yesses.  It may help you to be fully yourself because you know that everyone else is taken.

Firstly, goals are never just Personal.   Why? Because our lives are never just about us.   We all have a “vibe” and everything we think and do impacts others around us. So, the attainment of goals or not impacts us and those closest to us.

When you say “ How can I set Personal Goals”, I would respond “Goal setting for the sake of what?”.  You’ve got to know Why you want to set a goal.  Your “Why” will be your Driver.  If your “Why” is not big enough, makes you hungry enough, puts a fire in your belly enough, then I suspect you may not follow through with what you have to do.

Goal setting is sometimes more than just “Goal setting”.  Every month or year, people set goals and do not follow through.  How many times have you set a goal (at New Year) and by March you haven’t even taken the first step to making it happen.

So I ask; “Goal setting for the sake of What?”  If you are unable to answer, then we need to have a convo.

If you CAN answer, this is what I would ask you (and that is just to start).

  1. What Intention is at the back of this Goal
  2. Now that you have an Intention, what are you to pay Attention to?
  3. For example, if your Intention is to experience Financial Freedom, are you paying attention to your spending habits?
  4. For example, if your Intention is to be more assertive at work, are you paying attention to your ability to practice your non negotiable “No’s and non negotiable “Yesses”?
  5. Intention and Attention work hand in hand for goal setting and goal achievement
  6. When you can answer 1-4, you are ready to start

If you have a look at 1-4 again, you will see that what is often required for successful goal setting and successful goal achievement is the mastering of Habits.  Behind 3 and 4 is the requirement to change a habit.  Lets talk to see if we can create achievable goals for you, together.

 

 

There comes a time when we have to relinquish who we think we are; to leave behind the person behind the masks. Masks keep you fear filled. Creates knots in your belly. They stop you from living a full life. It then usually means that you are not fully seen, you don’t bring all of yourself to whatever you are doing.

As I understand it, living this way is no picnic. Masks can be so burdensome, don’t you think? Constantly slipping, but we have a sense of when we want to let it go, like when the effort that it takes to hold it in place outstrips the effort to let it go.

For those of us longing to step out from behind the masks, there is usually a longing. There is usually a knowing that where you are is not where you are meant to be. Do you recognise the feeling?

I too have lived in that space. In fact, I know it intimately. When “the knowing” came, I knew that in order to live my most authentic life, it would require me to change, to embrace fierce self honesty, and to stare into the barrel of my own being. Over the years I had tried to do much of it by myself. I would take a one dimensional snapshot of my challenges and work on that. I would make some headway, but it was always limited. I found myself achieving goals, but not building lasting competences that held me.

I found out that looking at anything one dimensionally is extremely limiting. Life happens on multiple levels, domains and streams. You could say that when I began to view my challenges from multiple angles and perspectives, an amazing unfolding happened. I began to manage challenges differently and with more skill, I could establish clarity quickly and release that which was not serving my life. Self-deception disappeared and I developed increased competence in all areas of my life.

This journey, I privately call the “Warrior’s journey”, but through it all, I have been and continue to be held with tremendous skill, kindness and support.

It is this which I now bring to you; the gift of Integral Coaching. This is a way of exploring your emotions, attitudes, thoughts, feelings and intentions from multiple perspectives, enabling you to bring all of yourself to your life as authentically as possible.

Many leaders and chief executives are often frustrated by how their personal effectiveness is perceived by their teams. This frustration is amplified by not knowing how to take this hurdle.

Do you wish to know THE scientifically proven predictor of outstanding leadership?

Recently, I worked with a chief executive who had poor interpersonal relationships with his direct reports. He relied solely on intellectual knowledge and ignored all other resources available to him.

Above all, he was unable to see himself objectively. He was unable to observe both his own emotions and those of others.

What he urgently needed was to use his Cognitive Intelligence together with Emotional Intelligence. The combination of these two modes of understanding leads to outstanding leadership.

Why was this exposure to Emotional Intelligence necessary for this person?
Read more

Many executives are so immersed in their daily tasks that they crash and burn without advance warning.

Did you know it doesn’t have to be so?

Do you know how to observe yourself and spot when you are going to step into the arena of crash and burn?

Do you know that you can avoid it?

In the video, I showed you how I was able to help a senior executive with whom I worked for an 9 months and who had been off work for 9 months prior to starting work with me.

How did I help him?
Read more

Do you know one of the best predictors of success at work and personal fulfillment in life?

Here is what happened when I worked with a chief executive to build a greater level of personal awareness, which in turn transformed his level of effectiveness in leading his organisation.

For 12 months we worked on mastering mental and emotional processes.

I trained him in Mindfulness techniques to build his levels of self-awareness.

I trained him to enhance his abilities to monitor his own feelings and emotions and to observe those of others.

I taught him to enhance his abilities to self-correct unhelpful behaviours, to guide his own actions.

Briefly put, I worked with him on Mindfulness.

Why were those practices necessary?
Read more

“More than education, more than experience, more than training, a person’s level of Resilience will determine who succeeds and who fails. It’s true on the cancer wards, it’s true at the Olympics, and it’s true in the boardroom” – Dean Becker

A business, like a person or any other living thing, must grow and adapt to be able to live. If it stands still, it dies, sooner rather than later.

Resilience is the indispensable ingredient for personal, team and business growth.

So, what is Resilience, how is it made up, and why do your teams need it?

Let’s dive straight in:

The 3 Characteristics of Resilience
Read more

Do you need a coach? That’s a very good question.

Here is a question that will help you answer yours:

Do you want to live life by Default or do you want to live life by Design, by Unleashing your untapped potential?

If you are even thinking about moving from life by Default towards life by Design, then you need a coach.

Why?

Let me show you what happened when I worked with a UK HR manager who wanted to work out of Europe.
Read more

You love your sibling. You want to be like her because she has everything you hoped your life would have but doesn’t. She is happily married with four children, has a beautiful home with a white picket fence; the lot. She is outgoing, gregarious and fun. Your diary is full of making yourself available to your sibling. She is able to live life fully because you make it so. You also resent the hell out of the situation.

Time to be yourself. When you say that something has to change, you must know that it will have to begin with you. Free will is the source from which your life stems. What conversations are you having in order to bring about your life? Every ‘yes’ and every ‘no’ is a full sentence. It can either open a door or close it; it can create possibilities for conversations or limit them. Siblings can add to or take away from your life, but only if you let them. Resentment has its uses, but they are limited. It informs us that where we are is possibly not where we want to be.

 

Yes. How many times have you said that word and not meant it? How many times has it diminished your life, whilst you watched another’s circumstances flourish; because you said it!

No. So many of us are afraid to say it! So worried we won’t be liked after saying it. But you know, the word can be a blessing onto our lives. It is transparent in its intention. How many times have we heard someone say “which part of “n” and “o” don’t you understand! This full sentence of “No”, has the power to define, clarify, confirm and transform. I’m not talking negotiable No’s here!

Maybe the next time you find yourself feeling resentful/living someone else’s life/wanting someone else’s life, try examining your ‘no’s’ and yesses. It may help you to be fully yourself because you know what everyone else is taken.