The work that I do is simply “Heart” work. 

I hold others with and from the Emotional centre of my being.  Feeling another (without touching), holding another (energetically), touching another (vibrationally).  That is what I do.  

I am a midwife to holding the ache, the sorrow, the joy, the courage, the peace.  When a beloved (You) sits before me with “their story”, this opens a gateway into the interior landscape of both teller and listener.  An unfolding begins to occur in the telling of the story and the conscious contemplation of both beloved and midwife. 

My presence holds a warning and a promise in the same energetic space; the consequences of moments of deep intimacy with yourself, with another and with the world.  I hold the space for you to be present with your joy and sorrow, with longing and desire, as layer upon layer of yourself, myself and the world is revealed. 

Neither of us can know in advance, what this revelation will look like or what action it will inspire or compel us to take.  Personally, I have circled moments of anticipated intimacy with my own desires, catch the scent of portended change in the air and promptly shut down my emotions for fear of what it would call upon me to do in and with my life.  Having based parts of my life on truths that no longer exist, the changes that deep intimacy with real Truth evoked looked very dangerous.  It is terrifying to watch one’s life structures crumble and fall.  It forced me to ask, “Who am I now without these stories”?  

You cannot tell in advance which aspects of your carefully constructed sense of self, if any, will survive when you begin a coaching journey.  However well-intentioned or unconscious, if you have lived your life from a place of being asleep to yourself, the idea of giving birth to a new self is a total knee trembler. 

The beauty of doing this work is the recognition at some point, that there are things that Life wanted me to know, and since I have experience of it, I can therefore re-gift it to another by way of my heart when they sit before me. 

As a midwife, I have often touched my own sorrow as well as my joy.  I cannot promise that the journey to birthing your ‘Self’ will be easy.  Opening yourself to living intimately with the world is not a selective process where you are in control of every experience.  And so it is, that as “You,” sit before me, I know that you have taken the first step towards revealing the next layer of your life.  I know that you are seeking this thing that is calling your name; there is a hunger present.  When I am able to help you to acknowledge this hunger within yourself, once you are even able to taste the possibility of touching the meaning enfolded in your life, you can never be content with just going through the motions.  Learning cannot be undone.  It is at this point that transformation begins.

Those of us who do this work, can sense, see and feel the courage of another human heart.  It is from this place of Heart that I hold what matters for the journey; again and again, even when doing so may seem to the human mind, unbearable or simply impossible.  All of us, are here to give birth to a deeper intimacy with our lives and our world and with Heart we open gateways for others to do the same.




In the quietude of this moment, I claim for and about myself gratitude, simple and humble gratitude for the countless blessings in my life; those of which I am aware and those of which I am not.

The unfolding wonder of life shows up in every aspect of my life.  Even now, I am so grateful for this body temple that flows with vibrant health, vitality and wholeness.  I am so utterly grateful that through this body, I get to feel love, sense hurt, appreciate gut intuition.  Oh my goodness, how wonderful I am made.  

Harmonious energy flows through every organ, muscle and fiber of my being.  Every vital organ knows exactly what to do and does so with mind blowing precision.  Every neuron fires at the right time and I am overflowing with health and gratitude.

I’m grateful for the beauty that surrounds me.  To every individual in my life, I say thank you for loving me, for sharing yourself with me, for inspiring me and for uplifting me on days when I could not see my own inner beauty. All manner of good is flowing through me and all around me. 

My mental body is clean, my emotional body is pristine, my financial affairs are abundant and in order.  I  am flooded with gratitude, knowing that all is well in my world.

I sit in peace and surrounded by blessings. All is well.

From the womb of my heart, I send a blessing to all beings on the planet, to all creatures and elements of nature.

From North to South, from East to West, may all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.  May all know Joy and Peace, the peace that passes all understanding.  May all beings rise, flourish and know safety and security in their environments.  May they have clean pure water to drink and a plentiful supply of food.  May they know love.

I know that their safety, their health and Mine are inextricably linked because we come from the same Source.  I therefore give thanks in advance for the many blessings that shall occur upon their lives, simply because where others suffer in the world, my world is also affected.  I know that there cannot be peace Here and not There.  We live in one world.  

Just as I desire peace, compassion, understanding, forgiveness and joy, so do all beings everywhere.  I therefore speak out loud the Word for the benefit of the lives of all beings.  

May all of our highest potentials be realised in this lifetime and may we all live in Harmony with Life.

And so be it.

As I go within, I sit with full intention to clear away the crass, the irrelevant and the complicated which has been a barrier to my Freedom.  I know that within this temple there is everything I need to take the first step in any endeavour and to relinquish all fear, procrastination and what-if-ness.

I open my heart and mind to finding the beauty, joy and perfect knowing in just Beginning.  There is no-thing to fear here.  There is only joy in beauty and beauty in joy and perfect knowing in all of it. I affirm my commitment to Beginning.

And so, I take the first step, I am not ashamed that it is a baby step.  All I know is that it is a step and it counts as me taking action in reclaiming my divine freedom and ultimate happiness. 

I relinquish the parts of me that have relied on the opinions of others, societal trends and an addiction to drama.  These parts of me have been gainfully employed for years and I am happy to say now that “they are now out of a job”!

I am no longer afraid to let go, since these redundant parts of me have nothing new to offer.  I now step into all manner of Actuality, Possibility and Potential.  Doors now open where once there were only walls.  I declare that I have now begun a new chapter of my life, turned a new page and new pathways emerge even as I speak.

I give thanks knowing that I have done the right thing and all is well.

Breathe in deeply, breathe out slowly. Relax your shoulders and your jaw. Find stillness before you read the affirmation practice below out loud.

As my day starts, I turn within to give thanks for the joy of simply being alive.

Thank you Life that I wake to see yet another day.  Today I continue my journey to be my greatest yet to be. I know all of that is available to me because every day is a tremendous blessing that is to be used for my good and the good of the world.

So here I am.  Use me.  Use me as your instrument, so I may know the joy of being chosen and used by you.  I now  make myself available to experience everything that is available in Life; the good, the bad, the indifferent.  For I also know there are lessons abundant in every aspect of Life and I open my heart to learn, to feel, to act from a place of knowing with all of my lessons learned.

I feel Life so strongly seeking to express through me, as me and all around me, so into this zone I enter knowing that Life seeks to know itself as me today and everyday.  There is a quickening happening within me from my head to my toes.

I now affirm that heaven is right where I am, all manner of good is already mine.  I open my mind and eyes to see what is in store for me and I call it forth knowing that it is good and very good.

With ultimate gratitude and appreciation, I simply let it be.

Thank you!


Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

What is to give light, must endure burning.

Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.

Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for.

One of the tasks of true friendship is to listen compassionately and creatively to the hidden silences.

Often secrets are not revealed in words, they lie concealed in the silence between the words or in the depth of what is unsayable between two people.

When you compare yourself to others, you are inviting envy into your consciousness; it can be a dangerous and destructive guest.

Once the soul awakens, the search begins and you can never go back. From then on, you are inflamed with a special longing that will never again let you linger in the lowlands of complacency and partial fulfilment.

Your soul knows the geography of your destiny. Your soul alone has the map of your future, therefore you can trust this indirect, oblique side of yourself.

You love your sibling.  You want to be like her because she has everything you hoped your life would have but doesn’t.   She is happily married with four children, has a beautiful home with a white picket fence; the lot.  She is outgoing, gregarious and fun.  Your diary is full of making yourself available to your sibling.  She is able to live life fully because you make it so. You also resent the hell out of the situation.

Time to be yourself.  When you say that something has to change, you must know that it will have to begin with you.  Free will is the source from which your life stems.  What conversations are you having in order to bring about your life? Every ‘yes’ and every ‘no’ is a full sentence. It can either open a door or close it; it can create possibilities for conversations or limit them.  Siblings can add to or take away from your life, but only if you let them.  Resentment has its uses, but they are limited.  It informs us that where we are is possibly not where we want to be. 

“Yes”.  How many times have you said that word and not meant it?  How many times has it diminished your life, whilst you watched another’s circumstances flourish; because you said it!

“No”.  So many of us are afraid to say it!  So worried we won’t be liked after saying it.  But you know, the word can be a blessing onto our lives.  It is transparent in its intention.  How many times have we heard someone say “which part of “n” and “o” don’t you understand!  This full sentence of “No”, has the power to define, clarify, confirm and transform.  I’m not talking negotiable No’s here!

Maybe the next time you find yourself feeling resentful/living someone else’s life/wanting someone else’s life, try examining your ‘no’s’ and yesses.  It may help you to be fully yourself because you know that everyone else is taken.

Neuroplasticity is a concept referring to the idea that the brain is capable of changing its function in response to your environment, thinking, emotions, behaviour, as well as injury. Science has moved on leaps and bounds since it was once thought that the brain was “fixed” in the way that it functioned after childhood. It was also thought that teenage years were the final stage of development. The latest scientific findings report that Neuroplasticity happens when the brain continues to develop new neural pathways in response to our behaviours, thoughts and beliefs. This phenomenon can continue for life as is evidenced by meta-analysis from research in the field. In essence, you are not fixed and unchanging. You are capable of evolving in a way you probably never thought possible.

What is self-directed neuroplasticity?

So science has indicated that the brain remains neuroplastic for life. Self-directed neuroplasticity is a concept that allows you to consciously control how you want your brain to work. Diligent practices and exercises can impact the very structure and functioning of the brain. Knowing this can enable great personal change to take place.
Everything begins with a thought. The higher order regions of the brain (i.e. prefrontal cortex) as far as science understands, are responsible for controlling lower order ones; giving you self-control. The higher order areas allow you to refocus your attention and utilize willpower to alter your behaviour, which in turn creates changes within your brain (i.e. neuroplasticity). How many of you can say that you can control your thoughts or even notice what you are thinking?

How Self-Directed Neuroplasticity Works…

Firstly, it does require personal effort. Here is an example; if you are challenged by having difficult conversations at work, you can be coached on how to have difficult conversations, by looking at your thoughts, beliefs and reactions to difficult conversations. Your body is a place where tremendous knowledge about your actions and reactions reside. How is what you are telling yourself impacting your physical self? One aspect would be to help you to notice your responses, your thoughts around it. What are you telling your brain to believe? What thoughts are you investing in? A thought with no one to believe it has no power. AT ALL! Once you have mastered sifting through what you think you believe and choose a different belief, new neural pathways begin to form. This creates different sensations in your body reinforcing the belief. All of this work is self-directed neuroplasticity.

Anytime you learn a new skill or a different way of dealing with an ongoing challenge, your brain functioning changes and adapts to whatever you have learned.

The concept of self-directed neuroplasticity involves:

1. Attention: Any object can catch your attention at any given moment in time, that’s just the by-product of exposing your brain to various stimuli. However, you have full control over the amount of attention to which you give a particular object, thought, or behaviour. You could have a depressing thought and give it a lot of attention (further magnifying it), or you could choose to let it pass and refocus on something else. Essentially, whatever you focus on lights up a particular region of the brain and your attentional muscle gets strong in that area. The goal is to pay attention to the stuff you want in order to make your brain “light up” and rewire the way you want.

2. Volition (willpower): Simply paying attention is great, but attention alone won’t really change anything. You need to actually go down in the trenches and put in some work. If you are trying to change a particular behaviour such as fear of difficult conversations, come up with a plan to refocus your attention, and partake in a different activity to change the way your brain is firing. With consistent practice, your brain will begin to fire up the circuits associated with the new activity rather than the unwanted one. Affirmations can help with this.

3. Brain activation: The brain activation that occurs is in part a result of how you choose to focus your attention and guide your willpower. If you choose to feel happy and focus on gratitude, a different region of your brain will light up than that of feeling depressed. With practice (not overnight), the region of your brain associated with gratitude will overpower the region associated with feeling depressed because you use it more. Mindfulness meditation can help with this.

4. Consistency (“Use It or Lose It”): Regions within your brain are constantly in competition for carrying out various functions. Whichever regions that you use more often, will effectively overpower the other regions and get more neural real-estate. The regions and neural pathways that you use less frequently will get less real-estate and may get minimized and/or eventually die down. Your daily habits make a big impact on your brain functioning because the neural pathways required to carry out those habits become strengthened in time, and those used less often get weaker. Self-awareness exercises can help with this.

How to use Self-directed Neuroplasticity

There are innumerable factors which impact how the brain functions; your behaviours, environment, social group, sleep cycle, thoughts, nutrition and more. Being aware of the influences over your brain, allows you to consciously change the ones that may be causing more detriment than harm. Below are some steps that AnExaminedLife can guide you to harness the power of self-directed brain change.

1. Awareness: Become aware of what you’d like to change. You may be aware of a variety of things that you’re unhappy with and/or things in your life that you dislike. Pick one thing at a time and become aware of the particular habit, mood, belief etc. that you’d like to change.

2. Attention: Instead of letting your attention drift to something else, focus all of your attention on implementing a healthy thought pattern and behaviour. This will require effort, but whatever you focus your attention on will become reality. If you choose to attend to feeling depressed, it magnifies the feeling. If you choose to focus on gratitude, it amplifies your happiness.

3. Volition: Realize that at the beginning of attempting to change your brain and build new neural pathways, it’s going to be uncomfortable and possibly challenging. Most individuals are set in their ways and the neuroplasticity is not meant to be comfortable, it’s meant to be effective. Think of it like returning to the gym to work on your fitness after a 5-year hiatus. That first workout may leave you stunned. Your body will react, having become unused to the treadmill or a body pump class. Over the next few days you will ache in places you forgot existed. I call it the all over fever from working out. But the more you go to class or hit the treadmill, the more your body gets used to it and your brain adapts. You no longer find yourself praying 10 minutes into the workout for it to be over. Instead you realise you have the lung power to go the distance. Not only that, but your body no longer aches after a visit to the gym. It is the same with changing your behaviour. You will encounter resistance, but with the appropriate level of willpower and focus your brain will adapt.

4. Consistency: Understand that with consistency, your brain will adapt to the new neural patterns that you present. Try to engage the new neural pathways for at least 30 minutes throughout the day, in order to build your attentional muscle. This helps to shift focus away from the unwanted, and onto the wanted, leading to permanent brain changes over time. Just like going back to the gym after a long time away, consistent effort is key to making the change whether it’s at the gym or with your thoughts and beliefs.

Brain changes: With consistent focused effort (or mental force), you can change the way your brain works. Over time, the brain changes become more solidified – the more you maintain the healthy behaviour, the easier it is to maintain. This is why monks who practice mindful compassion tend to rarely experience depression – their brains become so “wired” to feel positive emotions after years of practice. Let me tell you about a Tibetan monk called Matthieu Ricard, whose life has been dedicated to Mindfulness and Compassion. Research published by neuroscientists in the 1990s found that, while undergoing meditation, Ricard’s brain showed a degree of stimulation in areas associated with positive emotions and impulses that was previously unrecorded in scientific literature. Meditating for a long period of time, the University of Wisconsin research suggested, had the potential capacity to alter the brain, a finding which was interpreted more widely as an ability to train oneself in happiness. And so Matthieu Ricard became known as the happiest human on earth. Focussed mental attention then, can change the way your brain works.

Who can benefit from self-directed neuroplasticity?

Virtually anyone can benefit from understanding and implementing the concept of self-directed neuroplasticity in their lives. It is an empowering perspective that is clearly backed by science (brain scans prove that it works). The degree to which you experience improvement will be based on the degree to which you are able to: focus your attention and engage in new behaviours to make your brain adapt to the reality to which it is presented.

Along the way it may feel highly uncomfortable, but with the help of a certified practitioner from AnExaminedLife, you can deliberately train your brain to “light up” and function the way you want.

Could you be the one to benefit?

Firstly, goals are never just Personal.   Why? Because our lives are never just about us.   We all have a “vibe” and everything we think and do impacts others around us. So, the attainment of goals or not impacts us and those closest to us.

When you say “ How can I set Personal Goals”, I would respond “Goal setting for the sake of what?”.  You’ve got to know Why you want to set a goal.  Your “Why” will be your Driver.  If your “Why” is not big enough, makes you hungry enough, puts a fire in your belly enough, then I suspect you may not follow through with what you have to do.

Goal setting is sometimes more than just “Goal setting”.  Every month or year, people set goals and do not follow through.  How many times have you set a goal (at New Year) and by March you haven’t even taken the first step to making it happen.

So I ask; “Goal setting for the sake of What?”  If you are unable to answer, then we need to have a convo.

If you CAN answer, this is what I would ask you (and that is just to start).

  1. What Intention is at the back of this Goal
  2. Now that you have an Intention, what are you to pay Attention to?
  3. For example, if your Intention is to experience Financial Freedom, are you paying attention to your spending habits?
  4. For example, if your Intention is to be more assertive at work, are you paying attention to your ability to practice your non negotiable “No’s and non negotiable “Yesses”?
  5. Intention and Attention work hand in hand for goal setting and goal achievement
  6. When you can answer 1-4, you are ready to start

If you have a look at 1-4 again, you will see that what is often required for successful goal setting and successful goal achievement is the mastering of Habits.  Behind 3 and 4 is the requirement to change a habit.  Lets talk to see if we can create achievable goals for you, together.



I am aware that the earth’s tilt creates darker days  in certain parts of the world, however the sun is always shining.  Wherever we are in the world the sun is always shining.  

A healthy and positive mindset will determine how well you will do with less hours of sun; bearing in mind that the length of the day affects all of us. 

When exposed to the sun we produce less of a hormone called melatonin and so feel more awake and energetic.  When we have less sunlight some of us can be prone to a depression usually caused by lack of sunlight.

So how to create more melatonin during the dark winter months?

Here are some natural ways to boost your Melatonin production:-

  1. Increase exposure to natural sunlight 
  2. Go to bed at a reasonable time
  3. Reduce your exposure to artificial lights at night, especially from your laptop etc
  4. Eat Melatonin rich foods: Cherries, Corn, Asparagus, Tomatoes, Pomegranate, Olives, Grapes, Broccoli, Nuts ( Walnuts, peanuts, flaxseed, sunflower seeds).
  5. Deal with Stress –  Stress impacts Melatonin levels.  Melatonin levels helps to control sleep cycles.  More sleep, less stress; you get the picture.



How does meditation help? Meditation works with the pineal gland to create greater Melatonin concentration naturally!  Recent research (Massion et al, 1995, 2012) show meditators have higher melatonin levels than non meditators.

In the UK, the Medicines Control Agency banned the over the counter sale of melatonin after it decided that melatonin was “medicinal by function” and as such requires a drug licence. It has written to  all relevant suppliers, (mainly health food shops) ordering them to stop selling the product.  

However since your body can create it naturally, lets get at it!!